Send Off the Clowns

(with apologies to Stephen Sondheim)

They’re filthy rich,
One nasty pair.
They have a shitload of nerve,
Our Twinford Mayor.
Send off the clowns.

T.O. is screwed.
Our ox is gored.
What did we do to deserve
Rob and Doug Ford?
Banish the clowns.
Send off the clowns.

Rob likes his crack.
Rob likes his booze.
Rob has a habit of making the wrong kind of news.
But bear in mind, if you think we’ve been under a curse,
Druggie is bad…
Dougie is worse.

Shut the fuck up,
Move to the rear,
If you’re a pinko, a cyclist,
Asian, or queer.
Our unlucky town’s
Infested with clowns.
It’s best we steer clear.

We only pray
Both of them lose.
We do not want them inhabiting each other’s shoes.
They’ll make their exit for good at the end of next month.
Will that be thad?
No, ‘cauthe they’re cunth!

Vile Tweedledum,
Dumb Tweedledee,
Trying to tag-team Toronto’s
Mayoralty.
Away with those clowns,
Those two evil clowns
(And Michael makes three).

Send Off the Clowns A

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