What Do You Do in a Drunken Stupor?

Ford

For Mayor Rob Ford of Toronto…

  • WHAT DO YOU DO IN A DRUNKEN STUPOR? (Mayday!)
  • (to the tune of “What Do You Do with a Drunken Sailor?”) 
  • 1. What do you do in a drunken stupor?
  • What do you do in a drunken stupor?
  • What do you do in a drunken stupor?
  • You lie every morning.
  • (CHORUS)
  • MAYDAY! ANOTHER CRISIS!
  • MAYDAY! ANOTHER CRISIS!
  • MAYDAY! ANOTHER CRISIS!
  • YOU LIE EVERY MORNING!
  • 2. Drink green beer till you’re almost inco-
  • herent and act like a total dink, oh.
  • Mess with a bike-riding, lefty pinko.
  • You lie every morning.
  • 3. Go to the ACC and wig out.
  • Grab the missus at home and pig-out,
  • You’re in a hole even Doug can’t dig out.
  • You lie every morning.
  • 4. Flee from Pride to your summer cottage.
  • Don’t wanna see any homo frottage.
  • What’s in your head doesn’t have much wattage.
  • You lie every morning.
  • 5. Hide inside from the Princess Warrior.
  • Try a little coke-induced euphoria.
  • Yeah, you’re sorry. We’re a whole lot sorrier.
  • You lie every morning.
  • 6. Go for a drive when you want to read, oh.
  • Call the guy from The Star a pedo.
  • Couldn’t look worse if you wore a Speedo.
  • You lie every morning.
  • 7. Chug an amount that is nearly monu-
  • Mental, and when you’re about half-gone, you
  • Get videoed with a crack-pipe on you,
  • You lie every morning.
  • 8. Make another video and run amuck, or
  • Scream you wanna body-slam a motherfucker.
  • Everybody’s lickin’ the Toronto sucker.
  • You lie every morning.
  • 9. Better get to rehab till you get sober.
  • Better quit fryin’ your frontal lobe, or
  • Ya won’t be around come next October.
  • You lie every morning.
  • 10. That’s what you do in a drunken stupor,
  • That’s what you do in a drunken stupor,
  • That’s what you do in a drunken stupor,
  • You lie every morning.
  • (LAST CHORUS)
  • MAYDAY! ANOTHER CRISIS!
  • MAYDAY! AND ANOTHER CRISIS!
  • MAYDAY! AND ANOTHEROTHER CRISIS!
  • YOU LIE EVERY MORNING!
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